I’ve Got a Bun in the Oven.
June 18, 2009 at 12:14 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 30 CommentsTags: american eagle, amy's, anorexia, anthropologie, art, broccoli, cherries, chick-fil-a, chicken, cocoa, coffee, feta, hummus, medjool dates, oat bran, pacsun, peanut butter, pistachios, plantain, psychologist, salmon, shopping, southwest chargrilled, therapy, toast, waffle fries
Nahh. Actually, I’ve just got an Apple Spice Cake in the oven.
I tend to make this face a lot?
I’d like to take this moment to apologize sincerely if my posts’ content has lowered in quality. I’ve been extremely busy and stressed preparing for my trip to Colombia. Can you believe I leave in FOUR days? FOUR measly days!? Time has just whizzed right by me. I’m both excited and anxious about leaving the country. I’m excited for the ambience change I’m going to be experiencing, but I am really anxious about leaving the majority of my staple foods behind. My psychologist agreed with my mom that leaving the country at this time in my life would be good for me because not only would it change the usual things I see around me on a daily basis, but it would challenge my eating disorder in a way it couldn’t be challenged here in Texas. In Colombia, I will be forced to expose myself to new foods and new people which apparently could make all the difference in the world.
Speaking of new foods, I have recently introduced a new fish into my life: the Salmon. I was always afraid of eating salmon because I had read in a magazine that it was a very fatty fish (Omega-3s) but that fear is no longer an issue. Last night’s dinner was amazing! I had 4 oz. of salmon, waffle fries, broccoli, and plantain.
I found this meal to be delisharific! (??)
*sigh* I have been struggling lately. I am having a deep friend issue that unfortunately, I am unable to write and vent about on here because the person I am having problems with reads my blog. Has anyone here ever had a friend who triggered their eating disorder? If you have and wouldn’t mind talking to me about it, I’d really appreciate it if you told me and I will happily give you my email so we can chat. I think it would be helpful to talk about this with somebody who can relate to and advise me.
On to the day’s eats/events!
The brekkie was mucho bad-@$$. It looked like brownie batter to me, which only added to the pleasure of consuming it.
1/2 c. Oat bran cooked in skim milk, 2 tbsp. cocoa powder, 1 tbsp. peanut butter, stevia extract, pistachios, and 2 medjool dates.
I read so many amazing blogs after breakfast that it was overwhelming. There are so many strong, amazing, and creative girls in the blog world. I look up to all of you and really appreciate every supportive comment you guys leave me. Thanks so much. I can honestly say that each of you have assisted me in my recovery in some way.
I did some drawing after frolicking in Blogland. Originally, this had been a sketch of a very realistic, beautiful girl done in pencil. I started to paint it with acrylics and I was working on the girl’s lips when my cat decided to attack my leg, causing me to spill red paint all over cheeks. I was really upset at first, since it was the best and most realistic person I had ever drawn but I wasn’t about to cry over spilt paint. I turned the simple sketch into a pyschadelic acid trip! While I know that it is nothing compared to the original drawing in quality and probably shouldn’t even be called art, at least I have a new painting that adds some more color to my room, right?
Lunch: Amy’s Spinach & Feta pocket, hummus, carrots, and cherries.
I had a visit with my psychologist today and we came to the conclusion that I am a very confused girl. Why AM I so obsessed with being skinny? What is so good about being skinny? How does it make me happier? How does fitting into a size 0 improve my life? I have no answers to those questions which proves that EDs have no logic or smarts.
Since we were in the area, my mom took me to the mall and left me on my own to enjoy all the little shops in The Woodlands. I spent the majority of my time at Anthropologie, where I bought an assortment of plates, mugs, and dinnerware. I also purchased a very cute blouse that was on sale:
I thought I looked rather ravishing in it, surprisingly.
I then proceeded to buying a pair of shorts at American Eagle:
I’ve always felt very self conscious in denim shorts and haven’t bought any since I was 12 years old, so this purchase was a very big step for me!
I met up with my mom at PacSun and she finally agreed that I was well enough to buy a bikini! 
I took a picture wearing this on my phone as well, but I am far too self conscious to share that one, haha. Sorry, peeps. Thou shalt not ever see Karina showing skin on the internet.
After all that intense shopping, Karina had a spontaneous and unplanned dinner at Chick-fil-a! Take that you poisonous bunch back’d ED!
The Southwest Chargrilled Chicken Salad was devoured along with some chocolate milk.
So I was pretty proud of myself for having prepared chocolate milk for the first time since middle school and was feeling pretty awesome about it until I realized that Chick-fil-a’s milk is sweetened with non other than that nasty canker-blossom of a sweetener: High Fructose Corn Syrup.
WHY CHICK-FIL-A? WHY! LOOK WHO YOU BROUGHT OUT:
“Karina, HFCS slows down your metabolism… you need to restrict now…“
Can you guess who pitched in saying that? Yeah, ED did.
I thought about it long and hard though… Is having HFCS ONE time in forever really going to slow down my metabolism? Is it really going to turn instantly into fat? It’s not like I downed a 7 oz. container of pure HFCS. I just had some milk sweetened by it. You are stupid and illogical, ED. Go die. Really.
Fun Fact: If I had another kitten and it were a male, I would name it Vincenzo.
Tomorrow is my pediatrician’s birthday so I wanted to bake her my mom’s famous apple spice cake as a treat. I am actually thinking of sharing the recipe with you guys on my recipes page just because it is so delicious and I believe it should be shared with the world. I posted the Peanut Butter Chocolate batter recipe today, by the way, in case you guys didn’t catch that and were interested.
I am currently writing this, sipping on a cup of coffee in my new mug and eating toast with PB, as the cake bakes in the oven. I’m exhausted. I suppose I have had a bit of an eventful day, though.
Want to hear something crazy? I didn’t feel like exercising today, so I just didn’t. And you know what? I feel okay.
Blehh, I think I am going to call it a night, though. I am wishing everyone a lovely day tomorrow and am keeping everyone in my thoughts.
Night, loves!
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Hey Karina,
great blog!
Im a fellow CCer, and have been following your blog for a bit
I have definetley struggled with friendships as well due to the ED. One friend in particular. If you need someone to talk to about it feel free to e-mail me.
soley.georgsdottir@gmail.com
Comment by SolStelpa— June 18, 2009 #
wow your leaving for Columbia so cool, i know youll have loads of fun, but i know leaving home is scary.
love you eats, and those oats! look so good! Vincenzo is the cutest name of a cat
that top looks amazing on you you are stunning, and i love your style!
have a great day lovie
xox
maya
Comment by maya— June 18, 2009 #
that is hard about your friend, i also wanted to write about a friend who is triggering, but i am afraid that this person reads my blog, ha ha, well i dont know that he does i just am paranoid that he like googled me and my blog came up. but if this girl is trigerring maybe talk, and tell her how you feel.
you are too cute, that shirt from anthropology looks so good on you and is so pretty, and i need to go there to get a cute bowl for sorbet/ice cream etc…love all your eats, amys feta pocket is so good and having hummus on the side is a brilliant idea, and that breekie looks ammaaazzzing
love your painting it is awesome! you are so creative and unique.
xox
eliza
Comment by eliza— June 18, 2009 #
Have a great time in Columbia!
And yes, do share that apple recipe, it sounds delicious!
The Anthropologie mug looks really cute, I’m going to hit Anthropologie hard when I get back to the U.S.
Comment by mayapamela— June 18, 2009 #
Hi hun,
firstly, ive had a friend who triggered my ed..well it was more like i felt she was trying to compete with me ( clearly i was NOT in recovery at this stage and my thoughts were very ed-related and dominant ) and basiclly, were not friends anymore. I handlded it very badly and stopped talking to her altogether (there were other reasons too…very complicated) and now when i see her we say hi and make polite convo but thats as far as it goes. I wish you more luck with your friend!
i love salmon
im so glad your over your fear of it cause its so good for you! and dinner looks delicious.i love chargrilled chicken!
oo cute buys
love everything..especially the shirt!
xxxx
Comment by rediscoveringlauren— June 18, 2009 #
hello love,
first of all i want to say i know just how you feel about leaving to colombia. i am leaving to geneva in 2 weeks and just like you i feel so anxious but yet excited to go. i guess in the end its all in our hands to enjoy this trip. i mean would you rather enjoy yourself, eat what you want, feel great and maybe gain a bit of weight on the way or restrict, feel miserable and not try any new foods and enjoy your family around? well i would go for the first. i want this to be a great holiday and an enjoyable one.
if you need anything my love email me, whatever it is you feel like talking about
coyote_roxx@hotmail.com
i am always here for you
xxx
Comment by Neela Marijana— June 18, 2009 #
Wahh! I have that mug
except I call it a bowl because it’s fun to put yogurt/cereals/fruit parfait-like in it.
Funny that you were making apple spice cake because that’s similar to what I had this morning.
Great use of color in that painting!
Comment by Mitri— June 18, 2009 #
hi hun, its me again well… sometimes I overheard something that I really doesn’t want to hear at this point in time since I am trying really hard to get better now. And it’s really disturbing that they ask questions I don’t know how to give an answer to. Anything, just email me at rachel_liqing@hotmail.com
wow that oats looks yummy!:D Anything oats is now my fav. Haha. By the way, you do have great talent for alot things ya? I love how creative you are oh! The painting/ drawing and such…
Anyway, you’ve encouraged me so much and I hope I can do the same too. Take care girlies.
Comment by rachel— June 18, 2009 #
You are so sweet, Rachel. Thank you, I’ll be emailing you soon
Comment by Karina Pinzon— June 18, 2009 #
Dang, chick fil a is like the only fast food restaurant I absolutely love. And I always crave it on Sunday when it’s closed. I’m obsessed with the ingredients in my food and if I see HFCS on the list, I throw it back. But like you said, I guess once in awhile it can slip in my diet without me freaking out.
Comment by Yasmin— June 18, 2009 #
Your trip IS coming up soon!! Hang in there!! Time flies like crazy
Mmm, love the “brownie batter-looking” oats.
Kudos for taking a rest day when your body needed it!!
Comment by VeggieGirl— June 18, 2009 #
hello gorgeous! dont apologise for the content of your posts – we all love reading them
i hope you really enjoy wearing them.
i’ve got a friend that also has anorexia and although we can offer each other support, at times i find her very triggering. so if you need to talk to someone about it i’m always here for you whenever you need me… han_17@hotmail.co.uk
loooove that blouse you bought! and the shorts and bikini are so cute
enjoy the rest of your day hun, lots of love as always xoxo
Comment by determinedtoshine— June 18, 2009 #
YES! way to go for facing some of your fears! It’s tough to do that sometimes. Also, LOVE the new clothes and that adorable mug–you have wonderful style! I’m glad I read your blog before my breakfast because now I’m gonna try to make mine totally kick @$$ as well! hehe
Comment by Coco— June 18, 2009 #
4 days?! YEAH! Loving the look of your dinner- plantains are one of my alltime favourites (as are waffle fries, broccoli and starting to like salmon!)
You can email me anytime- most of my friends have ED’s (that is what happens when you leave school and spend years in and out of treatment
) so can probably see it from both sides of the fence…I definitely have friends that trigger me but am guessing I have been triggering to some at certain stages (hopefully not now!)
Love your clothes! Anthropology rocks
Comment by insideiamdancing— June 18, 2009 #
This is a random comment – but the quality of all your photos is ammaazzing. You must have an awesome camera! What kind is it, if you don’t mind me asking?
Hmmm… the title of your post threw me off. But I’d definately prefer to have an apple spice cake in the oven too!
Salmon is my faaavvvveee fish (along with trout). It is a fatty fish, but full of super heart healthy omegas. It’s a great choice!
Comment by Ashley— June 18, 2009 #
Wifie there is nothing to fault about your blogs, you could make a living out of writing them hehe
I absolutely love that picture of you t’s so cute! I am still having the issue with the salmon, but it’s the saturates that scare me, which is really sad since i used to LOVE it…so congrats for the bravery. Sadly i cant help you with your friend hun, for me its the enemies that trigger me…like ‘if i get bigger than her she is winning and has one up on me/prettier than me 
hope you find someone to vent with.
i€ am sooo having that breakfast tomorrow if im feeling chocolatey!!! It looks ah-may-zing! I love your painting…im a BIG bright colours fan! You go and have a great time in columbia…and leave ED underneath your wet beach towel hehe
much love! xxx
Comment by Emma— June 18, 2009 #
Hey –
Thanks for the comment
Yes, I’ve actually had a couple of friends who were / are MAJOR triggers for me… feel free to e-mail if you’d like.
Your photos are stunning, BTW!
<3 <3
Comment by blueeyedheart— June 18, 2009 #
your breakfast really did look like brownie batter. mmmm, yummmm. your acid trip painting is crazy (in the best way possible, of course.) i love it! sometimes mistakes turn out favorable! and i agree, you do look ravishing in the top. i like everything you bought. but most of all, i want the pretty mug! i don’t know why, but i really like mugs.
are you going to be able to blog in columbia? if not, i’m really going to miss you! hopefully you’ll be able to post about your columbian adventures.
oh, and your spontaneous chick-fil-a dinner (hfcs and all) was a nice shot at ED! you should feel proud!
have a splendid thursday! and it doesn’t matter if you tend to make that face a lot, because somehow you still look incredibly beautiful when you do.
-JB
http://cardiovegsular.wordpress.com
Comment by JB— June 18, 2009 #
Haha! Reading the title of this post left me like this: O.O
But I’m glad to hear it’s just apple spice cake. That stuff’s tastier than a baby, after all. =]
(Gosh, did I really just write that? I must be tired..)
Anyhow. Congrats on trying new foods, kicking ED to the curb at Chick-Fil-A, and feeling okay about not exercising! You rock mah fuzzy little sockz, chica. =D
I hope you’re having a splendifferous day! Take care, m’dear. <3<3
Comment by Morgan— June 18, 2009 #
Salmon is my fave fish
I always sprinkle it with a bit of Mrs Dash spicy chipotle seasoning. so good!
You know, I never really realized that there aren’t any logical answers to ED’s questions. Why IS being a size 0 better? Mucho thanks for making me realize this!
Omg. If my mom left me on my own at Anthropologie I would probably blow our entire bank account. I LOVE that store! They have the most unique plates, mugs, etc. I love their clothes too but they are a bit expensive for me. I was looking at that same exact mug online a couple of days ago. It’s so adorable.
Have an awesome time in Colombia! I bet they have excellent coffee
Comment by Stacey— June 18, 2009 #
I have to say I LOVE all of your new buys. That bikini is so so cute and you look stunning in the Anthropologie shirt! (I am totally obsessed with that store by the way:)
I TOTALLY know how you feel as far as having friends that trigger your ED. I can definitely relate with you on that one.
Keep on smiling Karina, you are absolutely gorgeous!
love Haylee
Comment by Haylee— June 18, 2009 #
Ahh you’re gonna have so much fun in Colombia! Be spontaneous and crazy and don’t be afraid to take risks because it’s SO worth it!
Love that shirt you bought!
You know if you ever want to talk you can Facebook message me!
Comment by ohsoravenous— June 18, 2009 #
Columbia sounds awesome! Don’t get into drugs! Haha.
Comment by Matt— June 18, 2009 #
Hey-I’ve been out of the hospital for about 2 or 3 months now…and I’ve been following your blog…You are such an inspiration…My ED was in fact triggered by one of my friends, who “i believed” was skinnier than me. It didn’t help that she would always comment on how much others around her ate, even while she was “pigging out” herself! So if ya wanna talk-throw me an email- cmdrayer@comcast.net. I hope to hear from wou & wish you luck and happiness!
Comment by Chelsea— June 18, 2009 #
Ohh ha. Did I have a friend who triggered my ED? Most definitely. Facebook me! I’m under Caroline Stokes. You can message me about your friend issues whenever you need.
Great job with the HFCS today! I have the same mental block against it, but honestly, it’s just food! And a teeny tiny bit of it can’t hurt at all. In fact, it probably helped you, because that’s one more way you’ve proved that you’re much stronger than ED!
Enjoy your evening, love!
Comment by Kiki— June 18, 2009 #
first off, your blog is wonderful. total inspiration! you are beautiful and doing so well. i enjoy your painting. it may not have turned out the way it started but nothing in life ever does. just because it took on a new life doesn’t mean that life is not awesome.
i have had friendship issues from the ED as well. some people trigger you without knowing they do and others, i think they do it for selfish reasons. it can be difficult. if you need to vent feel free to message me: telltalemikey@yahoo.com. good luck chica!
Comment by randomlymikey— June 18, 2009 #
Hi!
I just came across your blog and wanted to say hello =)
and 2 random things: I LOVE that mug you have and you are so gorgeous!
Comment by hummusamongus— June 18, 2009 #
The bikini, the new shorts, the kitten, YOU…..all so adorable!! I truly enjoy reading this blog everyday Karina! I love all the day-to-day stories/recaps, your beautiful eats (that I try to re-create constantly!), and honest struggles! You’re definitely progressing though girl!! How’s the whole no calorie-counting thing working out?! Hope you’ve been able to keep it up! xo
Comment by Jessica (jesslikesithot)— June 19, 2009 #
Anthropologie is my all time favorite store! I don’t know if you have an Anthro card, but if you don’t you should get one! They’ll send you a cute little surprise on your birthday
p.s. your oats loook yummmmay!
Comment by Katharina— June 19, 2009 #
oh, yes. i COMPLETELY understand triggering friends. mine stopped eating a couple of years ago and we were really close and i started developing eating problems as well.
part of it was the competition factor; i wanted to be skinnier than she was. but we’re also very influenced by our friends’ behavior– especially those close to us. and it sucks.
it’s been 3 years now and my eating problems have increased. we’re no longer friends, and whenever i see her and her skinny-ness i feel horrible about myself.
Comment by karnii— June 23, 2009 #