Father Dearest: A Weekend Recap
November 9, 2009 at 10:36 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 31 CommentsTags: a little princess, ballet, bluebonnet, brown cow, cashew cookie, christmas carol, clif bar, cream top, heart to heart, iced gingerbread clif bar review, jim carrey, Kashi, larabar, maranatha, mozartkugeln, pb&co, protein poweder, sara crewe, silk soy, starbucks, strawberry flax
It all started with a mess. A yogurt mess.
1 c. Kashi Heart to Heart cereal and a crumbled cashew cookie Larabar mixed into 3/4 c. Kefir topped with almonds and soy nuts. On the side, a tall glass of Silk.
Sixteen year old Karina Pinzon figured this was the only proper way to begin her busy Friday. She had to be down at her nutritionist’s by 12 o’ clock, and was already running late: something she was no stranger to.
Life had taken a turn since she began to follow her nutritionist’s plan. Her meals seemed to occur more naturally after she’d finally met that magic calorie number on Wednesday.
It baffled her how sometimes all it took was one time to break a fear. The anxiety and nervous fluttering were all worth it once that fear was overcome. And a life lived in fear is a life wasted.
Soon after a fine lunch at Starbucks, Karina lay out on the grass feeling the autumn breeze puff against her cheek. She was exhausted of her battle against the clock and all the constant watching, staring, waiting. Time was her foe and she was it’s opponent.
Once 3:30 struck, she hastened up the stairs to get dressed for her 3 hour dance class. She couldn’t wait.
She fueled herself with 1/2 an iced gingerbread Clif Bar with a glass of Nesquik hemp milk before she left, and packed the other half to eat during the five minute dance break.
This was her first straight taste of an Iced Gingerbread Clif Bar. Before it entered her mouth, Karina warmed her half in the microwave for 15 seconds until it was a moist, gooey mess. The warm sweet, aromatic mush reminded her of her family’s Christmas Eve parties.
Hours spent dancing and laughing to hispanic Christmas melodies and children running to their parents asking, “WHEN CAN WE OPEN THE PRESENTS!?”
This bar was a winner.
————————————-
After ballet, Zoe came for a visit. It was nice to spend time with someone Karina’s age who she could talk to and eat her lasagna with. Conversation was a large factor of what Karina based her friendships on. Without communication, what does one have?
Zip. Zilch. Diddly-squat.
————————————-
It was 8:45 the next morning.
LATE AGAIN.
Karina bounced off of the bed and went down the stairs to make a tasty pre-ballet breakfast:
1 package instant oatmeal cooked in 1/2 c. hemp milk, 1 banana, 1 scoop of strawberry Bluebonnet protein powder, and 2 tbsp. of Maranatha peanut butter.
She had ballet until 5 PM that day and overall had a wonderful time…. except for that dreadful 1 hour lunch break.
Usually, lunch only lasted 30 minutes and usually, she had at least one friend there.
Today, she had no one. No one but herself.
See, her dance studio was more dramatic than a middle school. There were 3 cliques among the Junior and Senior companies: The Older Girls, The Younger Girls, and The Others.
The Older Girls were the perfect ones. They did every pirouette, every piqué, every tondue with flawless precision and technique. By general knowledge, they owned the right side of the room and if a Young One or an Other stood in their spot, dirty looks would ensue.
The Younger Girls consisted of the Junior company, mostly middle schoolers and stood on the left side of the room. They were not as experienced as the Older Girls and although they were bratty and undedicated, they were excused for their lack of perfection because they were well…. young.
Then there were The Others, where Karina stood. They belonged to no specific sector of the room and just stood wherever they could. There were only about 3 Others. And these Others were neither young enough to be a Younger Girl, nor experienced enough to be an Older Girl (new people were known as Others too, no matter how good they were. If they were unfamiliar, they were Others). Level wise, however, they were placed in the Older Girl’s Advanced class because they were good enough. Ironic.
Synopsis: Karina had no one to sit with at lunch and had to call her mom to pick her up so that she could eat in the car.
COOL BEANS!
credit to: google
After her long and arduous day, Karina relaxed at the cinema with her family and watched A Christmas Carol.
Although she took a fancy to it and all, she honestly preferred the Mickey Mouse version.
Oh sweet nostalgia, how I miss my childhood!
————————————-
Sunday morning treated the small town of Spring with cloudy skies and cool winds. The sun hid behind a fat, leaden cloud that was ready to burst it’s rain on the peaceful community.
Karina decided to bring the light out in her breakfast to make up for the colorless weather outside:
2 Kashi strawberry flax waffles spread with PB&Co’s DCD PB and topped with a chopped apple, an apricot mango Brown Cow Cream Top, Kashi’s Apple Harvest granola, and a 1/4 c. cottage cheese.
But Karina felt anxious. This Sunday was the day her and her father would spend the day alone, by choice, in order to bond.
For the past year, she’d resented her father a bit because he was always away on business trips. Of course, he had always traveled for his profession but never every single week, five days a week. And not to mention all the horrible things he had said to her mother and the rest of their immediate family that year.
No… 2009 had not been a good year.
Karina loved her father, but at times she had to question whether he loved her. But deep inside, she knew he did. She only missed him, and sometimes that translated to hostility.
No matter what or how she acted, he would always be her daddy. Nothing would change that.
————————————-
They ate sushi.
They walked down Old Town Spring.
They ate Mozartkugeln.
(OMG Maya and Eliza, I randomly saw these when I was in the little German shop in Old Town Spring. I literally gasped and bought them immediately. They are so delicious! If it hadn’t been for you girls being so inspiring, I never would have even tried these. Love you both <3)
They sipped on cappuccinos.
They talked.
They hugged.
And he bought her a beautiful golden locket, in which Karina planned to place a picture of him and her mother just like Sara Crewe in A Little Princess.
She loved her daddy so much… he was a wonderful, wonderful man. <3
The beautiful day of bonding ended perfectly with a bowl of spontaneously concocted curried lentils:
1 c. lentils
1 vegetarian italian sausage
2/3 c. peas
10 g. sunflower seeds
15 g. pistachios
5 g. pumpkin seeds
1/4 c. coconut milk
Karina felt grateful for the day spent with her father. She made a promise to herself to never hold so much anger against him again, no matter how much she missed him or disliked his job.
Wherever he may be: in India or Canada or New York or California, it didn’t change the fact that he was there for her… even a thousand miles away.
“Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.”
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You guys are too sweet…
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lovely post.
my dad is never here. he lives in taiwan and works there.
he only comes sometimes to visit.
Comment by traynharder23— November 9, 2009 #
This is such a sweet post. I’m glad you were able to enjoy some “bonding time” with your father… I live in the same house as mine, as we hardly seem to spend any time together!!
<3 <3
Comment by blueeyedheart— November 9, 2009 #
I really feel you on the whole dad situation… my dad’s always gone on bussiness too, and we don’t have much of a relationship as a result. Plus, my ED has made things pretty tense in the past, thus, there’s alot of tension. Just amongst the family in general. I tend to get protective of my mum so this adds to the resentment I’ve felt toward him.
I guess we got to spend some time together though… I’m trying to be as nice to him as possible, seeing as his mother (my grandma) just passed away… hopefully we can make the best of a bad situation.
Anyhow (on a more uplifting note!) your eats are delicous… I’m loving those waffles, and thinking of recreating them tomarrow for breakfast! Except, I only have cocoa beach granola, so may substitute the apple for a more “tropical” fruit (I’m thinking pineapple
) Glad you’re back at dance too. I know that dancing, surprisingly, has been an integral part in relapse prevention for me. Irish Dance+Cross Country= My army against ED. lol
Ok, enjoy my novel! lol and keep writing! I love your blog
Comment by julzdanceruns— November 9, 2009 #
your breakfasts look AMAZING! been reading your blog-keep up the awesome work!
Comment by kbwood— November 10, 2009 #
i love you writing in third person, i othen talk in third person its so fun.
very inspiring and usual
Comment by jessica— November 10, 2009 #
woops i meant to right inspiring as usual (very much sorry)
Comment by jessica— November 10, 2009 #
This is hard to explain, and might sound ridiculous, but I just love this particular blog entry of yours! I especially love the picture of your waffles brekkie, it brightened up my day!
Comment by solclare— November 10, 2009 #
love the yoghurt mess! good eats, Karina.
and I’m so glad you got to have some fun time with your dad.
xx
Heather
Comment by Heather— November 10, 2009 #
I adore your blog so much!
That food looks so good, so, say, I know you love ballet but can we please take a break from that?
Why you ask? Katie this isn’t your place to say? you frown.
BECAUSE you’re going to take a trip to australia and make ME food.
mmm mmm FOOD!
xx
Comment by Katie— November 10, 2009 #
I always save your post for the last! I just looooove reading your lovely writing and beautiful pics!! You brighten my mornings!!! <3
Love to read about your ballet (even if it's a little difficult at the moment, being an 'other' – hope this will change soon!!) and would love to be with you in this class and share my lunch break with you!! Even though my foot hurts even after only 20min on point… :S But it was only the second time so I'm sure it will get better… I will get better!!
Oh and thank you again for the birthday wishes!!! I was really moved by all your lovely messages!! Hug n.
Comment by nic— November 10, 2009 #
That’s so wonderful that your dad and you got to reconnect. I’m having some trouble with my dad lately as well, the divorce has definitely had an impact. But as you said, communication is so important, and I’m trying to communicate better with my own father. I love him so much, and despite the ebbs and flows of our relationship, that is always constant.
I wish I had access to seasonal Clif bars! It sounds delicious.
Comment by mayapamela— November 10, 2009 #
Karina,
okay, omg first off love those marzipans nad ou are toooo cute for mentioning us! 
loved reading this, especially out loud to maya lol…it made it extra fun, and like i was ready her a story
and i am so so proud of you for reaching that number on wednesday, you are so right, “The anxiety and nervous fluttering were all worth it once that fear was overcome” that made me feel like i can up my cals too, because its so true once you face it its not as scary as the thought of doing it…
ahh the part about the ballet girls, and you eating in the car…i have done things like that so many times, having my mom pick me up from school and let me eat my lunch in the car and even once we went out lol…if i were in your class i would have sat with you DUH! lol…well we would be the best of friends if we lived near eachother
and your dad! that is wonderful, and love that he got you a locket, omg a little princess is my favorite movie of allll time!!!!!!!!
i feel the same, sometimes i wonder if my dad loves me…he lives like 30 minutes away with my step mom and 3 other kids..and i dont feel much love from him at times…but i know he does of course…and its just the way i feel…but sounds like you and your dad really had a great time, and i am so proud of you for everything, keep going beautiful, i know you can do this, you are such an inspiration to me, and Maya and i are waiting in NY to meet a beautiful girly named Karina
love you to the moon and back!!!
xx
Eliza
Comment by eliza— November 10, 2009 #
(-:
I am glad you are trying yo meet your cals.And your breakfasts are so action packed!And just because your dad is not always there, doesn’t mean he does not love you.
Stay strong
Namaste
Comment by Robot— November 10, 2009 #
each day your breakfasts get better and better…
Comment by Yasmin— November 10, 2009 #
glad you had fun with your daddy! he sounds like a good dad. both my parents travel for work a lot and it can be sad, but just know that they are doing it to support you! you remind me of myself at 16. i used to be in a ballet company and there was SO much cattiness! don’t let the girls get to you
Comment by Coco— November 10, 2009 #
Beautiful post!
And yes, sometimes it IS just ‘doing it’, that way it becomes easier and I’m glad you realised this:)
I’m happy you had a good time with your dad!
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Comment by Julia— November 10, 2009 #
thanks, i guess we can bond over missing our pops! (not the cereal….hahha)
yeah, i just sort of neatly put the blanket back. ahhaha.
Texas? where in texas? my sister is there and she wants me to visit- maybe i can bring you TJ’s stuff!
Comment by traynharder23— November 10, 2009 #
hello lovie!
eliza read your post to me as i was getting ready this morning…i was like “eliza! read me Karina’s post pleeeze!” hehe…i was running late and i NEEDED to hear your lovley post, as it always inspires and helps me and ur writing is so amazing, like a story and its so captivating….u are beyond creative!(as u are beyond amazing in so many other ways!)
i relate so much to having to call mom to pick me up early or take me away from a situation like you had…so many times i have called her so i could eat a meal and feel safer…one time in school last winter, i was having an anorexic freak out lol…before lunch and my therapist at school actually drove me to my mom’s work so i could eat my wrap. ahha..
well i am so proud of you for so much reaching that calorie goal!! wow…that is so inspiring to me, as i need to get mine up more too.! ur amaze! and father daughter bonding i feel is such a key role in recovery and forming a better relationship is great! i too have always felt like you, like my father, isnt there 100% …as E said. he lives 30 minutes away with my step mom and 3 kids and i always felt like he didnt ‘care’ or ‘love’ me…but our fathers have unconditional love always for us…and so happy u had a great time, sure sounds like alot of fun! and he seems like a great man! so lucky to have you as a daughter!
++and those marzipan’s!
yyaa. ur too cute omg..aren’t they amazing! thanks for reminding me i must go to town and get more asap! 
that lentil dish looks right up my ally
must make something like that for dinner soon.! and as someone else said ur breakfasts keep getting better and better, seriously girl, those yogi messes, and that waffle!! are works of art! like if Jackson Pollock made breakfast thats what it would be 
hehe.
xx LOVE you!!! so so! mucho grande
maya
Comment by maya— November 10, 2009 #
KARINA my love!
sry for commenting again haha… but i forgot to tell you how much i LOVE your bowl you ate your yogurt mess out of, that looks beyond amazing by the way, cashew lara in cereal always wanted to do that! lol…maybe i will today
xx
!!!!
Eliza
Comment by eliza— November 10, 2009 #
Beeeautiful post! I’m so glad you had fun with your dad
My dad used to travel a lot too, and it’s definitely not fun!
That waffle breakfast looks GLORIOUS! I haven’t had Dark Chocolate Dreams in forever. Oh my goodness, I could eat it off the screen! haha, I’ll refrain
Comment by Tina— November 10, 2009 #
I feel the same way about my step dad. Well now that I’m in college.. I’m away from home so it doesn’t really affect me the same way. But he’s a very a logical guy and he doesn’t show much emotion – I use to think he was a robot. It also doesn’t help that he really doesn’t listen. You could be sitting right next to him telling him about your day (as if he cares) and he won’t respond.. not even a sigh. He’s just.. him. Sometimes it makes me sad that I have to accept him for who he is because sometimes I wish he was like the other dads.
Anyway, can I commend you on making outstanding meals? Especially the one with the waffles. And today I tried the iced gingerbread Clif bar as well
I also put it in the microwave (it just makes it taste so much better!) I had mine with a cup of rich hot chocolate – so good!
http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com
Comment by Katharina— November 10, 2009 #
so glad you had a wonderful time with your daddy. i can relate so much to your relationship with him – my dad works away a lot too, and theres often a lot of tension between us. but like you said, they will always be our daddies
and i wouldnt want it any other way.
keep smiling gorgeous girl! i hope the nutritionist appointment went well, im SO proud of you for making your calorie goals! your so strong my love and will only get stronger with as each nourishing day goes by!
tons of love, as always <3
hannah xo
Comment by determinedtoshine— November 10, 2009 #
that breakfast is monsterous..it looks amazing. Wonderful post, don’t worry about those “older girls” – they should actually be referred to as “younger girls” by the way they act >:)
Comment by Emily— November 10, 2009 #
Are you a vegetarian? Your meals always look so delicious and spectacular, but I’ve noticed they’re mainly meat-free. Although in this post you state you had sushi… though I know some vegetarians still include fish in your diet. I was just wondering.
Comment by Delilah— November 10, 2009 #
Sounds like a lovely day with Dad!! Father-Daughter bonding is always nice!! x) It must be tough him being away a lot. Dad used to be away every week when I was little for a bout 2 years, only coming back weekends. I guess being young, I never really noticed his absence but whenever he came home, I’d be so excited cos it means presents. As you said though, I’m sure your Dad loves you, afterall, what’s there not to love?! You’re amazing, sweet, strong, inspiration! And I have to say, your waffles look absolutely delightful!! But not as delightful as you!!
xx
Comment by nattietan— November 10, 2009 #
yaaay for mozart kugeln!! i love you my little miss germany
xoxo
Comment by crazylittlethingneela— November 10, 2009 #
OLD TOWN SPRING!!!!!! I’m glad you had some quality time with your dad. I remember a year during which my dad was gone a lot. It’s not easy :/
Are you going to the Nutcracker Market? Juuuuuuuust curious x)
Comment by Mitri— November 10, 2009 #
Oh yeah, I also wanted to say that I understand what you mean about sometimes feeling like you need to be “sicker” to continue blogging. I often felt like I was not “sick enough” because I’ve never been underweight and never officially had ED or anything, so how could I legitimately contribute to the community? It’s stupid. Because the whole point is that we want to be HEALTHY! And to be rid of these habits, thoughts, behaviors. So you are not alone
And as long as blogging continues to help you, I hope you do it whenever you please!
Comment by Mitri— November 10, 2009 #
I will be attending the Nutcracker Market this Saturday morning
Comment by Mitri— November 11, 2009 #
I really wanna try that clif bar sooo bad!
Comment by Jenna— January 26, 2010 #
Waffles look fabulousssss:)
Comment by Jenna— January 26, 2010 #