A Narrative…
March 10, 2010 at 1:46 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 23 CommentsTags: alive! protein, anorexia, ballet, blue diamond, brown cow greek yogurt, doctors, frappuccino, hemp protein, honey roasted, ideas, like some cat from japan, living harvest, lone star college, nature's plus, protein powder, protein shake, pumpkin oats, recovery, reddiwip, starbucks, super energy shake, university park, vegetarian times, weakness
The children on the other side of the wooden fence brought a smile to her face. Their innocent, jovial laughter danced in the new spring breeze that had arrived just the previous day in Spring, Texas. The residents of Spring, Texas sure loved their breeze.
The children’s laughter mingled with the lone Indigo Bunting’s warble and the Golden Retriever’s yap two doors down to create that unmistakeable melody of springtime. It was perfect.
For the first time in a week, Karina had forgotten about all her snags and hitches and worries. Yes, the sunlight that was not there yesterday made up for the mysterious splotches that appeared on her hands. The trilling birds that were not there yesterday made up for the spells of fatigue that struck her throughout ballet class. The clear blue sky that was not there yesterday made up for the chronic headaches, the chronic sore throat, the chronic eye soreness and the chronic bad stomach she had to cope with on a day to day basis. Yessiree, it was all made up for today.
She was not sure what the deal with doctors was these days. The second a doctor scanned their beady little eyes over her medical history, the appointment was cut short for they had come up with another genius diagnosis.
“Mrs. Pinzon, your daughter is an anorexic,” explains Smart Doctor Exhibit A. “She’s simply not eating enough and it is affecting her… uh… in this way she has described today.”
Was she not living in more medically advanced times? Were these not the days of justice and equality? Was Time magazine lying to her?
“MEDICAL ADVANCES MY BUTT!” she cried. Perhaps she was spending too much time in those magazine-laden waiting rooms…
Regardless, Karina was fed up at Eating Disorder sufferers being referred to as “those patients” by medical practitioners who, to top it off, made biased diagnoses and assumptions. For example:
“You like soy milk?”
EATING DISORDER HABIT!
“Your tummy hurts and you have excessive diarrhea?”
IBS! DUH!
“Gasp! You are a vegetarian?”
Well, you don’t care about the animals, that is just another Eating Disorder habit.
“Feel sick and struggling to gain weight?”
Eat more. It will solve everything because you are simply not eating enough. Oh! You know what would be even better? Eat half an ice cream cake! Mhm. You can’t possibly be sick. There can’t possibly be anything wrong with you other than the fact that you’re anorexic.
(The latter is only an example of a doctor making a false assumption in a worst case illness scenario. Obviously not everyone can have a chronic illness that results in weight loss as one of its symptoms, so do not use this as a crutch for your Eating Disorder and blame an undiscovered illness! Don’t let ED win!)
For the record, yes. Karina Pinzon was an Anorexic: an A-N-O-R-E-X-I-C.
And for the record, yes. Karina Pinzon was inclined to exercise a bit too much.
BUT for the record, she was eating enough. Perhaps more than enough, and she had witnesses.
So what exactly was wrong with our sixteen year old heroine? Why all the cynisism, and why the long absence from Blogland?
Once upon a time in the land of Ballerinas and Delicious Breakfasts, the young protagonist of a mysterious blog called Like Some Cat from Japan frolicked about. She was enraptured by the thrill of starting school again, but not just any school… college!
On the first day she adored her classes. English was a blast while Government, though demanding, was enjoyable. She was a success from the start! During this time she ate tasty breakfasts such as:
1 packet instant oats cooked in hemp milk, Living Harvest hemp protein powder, cinnamon, stevia extract, maple syrup and lots of pumpkin puree topped with pineapple, blackberries, Reddiwip, pumpkin seeds, almonds, and the last bit of her cinnamon brown sugar almond butter!
and 1 packet instant oats cooked in hemp milk, pumpkin puree, maple syrup, cinnamon/pumpkin pie spice and vanilla protein powder topped with raisins, soy nuts, pecans, Brown Cow greek yogurt, and a cherry for aesthetic purposes.
She also ate tasty lunches like:
Tofu sandwich on Alvarado Street Bakery bread with spinach, tomato slices, and Woodstock dressing. On the side, steamed french carrots and a peanut/almond mix with Hostess cupcakes.
and Amy’s Indian Palak Paneer with green beans and a side of greek yogurt and almonds.
She even ate tasty dinners! The biggest star of all was a recipe from Vegetarian Times magazine:
It featured tofu, ginger, an assortment of mushrooms, and bok choy.
I paired the entree with entrée with broccoli and quinoa.
Although the girl was eating well, she found two college level classes far too taxing and dropped one: Government. At that point, it seemed like all her troubles disappeared again. She was dancing, jumping, playing… everything! Her ballet instructors even told her mother that she was improving every week and that her daughter was dancing beautifully… it was a dream come true!
But merriment doesn’t always last forever… and sure enough trouble came lurking around the corner. The young heroine became stressed again and it did not help that she was growing weaker and weaker by the days. Daggers sliced through her stomach and spiders weaved tangled cobwebs in her head. She could not think properly nor jump properly for she was just too weak and sick. She was not gaining weight despite eating and eating. Even her eyes burned. But knowing the heroine… she could never give herself a rest. A powerful force inside of her wanted to see her going and going…. like a dreidel that never stopped spinning.
And what made the situation even worse was the fact that she could no longer blog on Like Some Cat from Japan because of the lack of time. Her blog was her haven, her sanctuary. A sanctuary where all her feelings, thoughts and ideas could take shelter. A place where she could be herself and write about whatever beauties and atrocities scurried through her mind. She had nobody to talk to and all her troubles were building up a high pile inside of her, and she was afraid that soon she’d collapse.
After much consideration, she dropped her English class as well and decided to take the next six months ahead of her to properly heal and get her mysterious health issues resolved. She knew that she had dived into the pool of knowledge too soon… it was a typical thing for her to do. Soar into things before she was ready.
This is unfortunately a story without a happy ending because it has no ending for the heroine’s life has yet to cease. She has her whole life ahead of her, a future to look forward to, and goals to achieve. But the way to achieve those goals and reach that promising future is not by pushing herself to extremes nor being hard on herself. With that approach she will fail at everything because nothing will never be good enough. She is a human, and humans by nature have limits.
R E S P E C T T H E L I M I T S O F T H Y B O D Y A N D T H Y M I N D .
They’re there for a reason aren’t they?
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Girl, I am right there with you! I am working on some medical issues that have nothing to do with anorexia, but they do deal with why it’s difficult for me to gain weight. I hated being categorized into something that I once was, despite the reality of my real state of mind. I am no longer tied by those “restrictions” or whtaever ED has to say.. yet for awhile, the doctors were still pinholing me because I had a history.. rather than taking me for what I am now. Not to mention, all their tests proved not to support their theories and such. Finally I went to a specialist and I’ve been working on my health from that point. It was such relief to actually know what was going on.. because who would’ve that the girl who once wanted to stay sick.. felt ashamed of her inability to gain weight. I felt like a freak. But now I’m working on that aspect of my life, and it helped me realize even more that there is more to me than a body. And you can’t judge a book by its cover. I love you Karina, and I’m so glad you’re back and with an update
You look so graceful and beautiful in your pointe picture!
XOXOXO to the moon and back
http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com
Comment by Katharina— March 11, 2010 #
I totallly missed your posts so much.Collage?Why aren’t we smart
I hope things get better for you.It’s almost been a year since your first post, and boy have you changed, in a good way.
Keep it up and stay strong!
Namaste
Comment by Robot— March 11, 2010 #
LADY,
Your determination and optimism will take you SOO far in life, never ever let go of such a beautiful quality. The happiness you are sure to find will make the battle scars worth the fight.
Thinking about you always
bec xo
Comment by rebecca lustig— March 11, 2010 #
Great to see a new post, (I wonder why you couldn’t post? Hope nobody forbid you!)
And…a big HUG to you! Sending lots of positivty and strength towards you and your body. Take good care of it and have faith…I really hope the improvements will come soon!
Big hug, xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Comment by julia— March 12, 2010 #
I missed you girl! I was so excited to see that you updated.. !
You have been through SO much, and I admire your determination to carry on. You are such an inspiration to me, and so many others out there. Doesn’t that make you feel amazing!?
You look so peaceful and passionate in your ballet picture.. that m’dear is true beauty
LOVE YOU!
<3 Tat
Ps. Doctors suck.
Comment by tatiannalives— March 12, 2010 #
I´m so sorry to read you´re not feeling well! I wish you all the best- stay strong and keep taking care, girly! Ah, and keep having a good time, too at college
Your eats look super yummy and you´re a beautiful ballerina!!
xoxo thinking of you
Mel
Comment by Melissa— March 12, 2010 #
It seems to me that no matter what you are going through you find the motivation and determination to carry through. I hope this means you’ll be back to update more often!
You look gorgeous in that picture, by the way. I saw my first professional ballet recently and it made me just want to go around and prance and leap through life. You’re stunning!
Comment by mayapamela— March 12, 2010 #
I forgot how much I have missed your posts girly, im glad to hear an update from you. This post was beautifully written
Comment by Michal— March 12, 2010 #
I was so psyched when I saw your new post
Glad you found my blog haha, although this week has turned into an “unofficial break” as I’ve been preparing for exams, etc.
Ugh, I hate going to the doctor. I’m going to have to go soon, too, because my knee/leg problem is getting worse… but I can just imagine them saying it’s “all in my head” or not really listening to me. I also have bouts of stomach trouble :/ I hope they can give the answers you are looking for and take you more seriously.
Dang! I wish we lived closer and then I could be someone to talk to when you don’t have the opportunity to blog
I really appreciate that you are interested in helping me with the orthorexia article. I need someone to interview on a more personal level, like a human interest piece (and whoever that person is can be completely anonymous). I would love to collaborate on this with you, if you are interested
That aside, I’m about to start spring break so maybe we can actually meet up depending on your schedule!
AHHH ok this is very long
Hope you feel better soon! and fuck the doctors 
Comment by Mitri— March 12, 2010 #
Kat!! I can completely relate to your experience at the doctors. I too was told that was the reason for being sick with a cold..strange. I’m glad your honoring your body and taking the time it needs to heal. Keep up the fight, your a brillent dancer and person!!
Maggie
Comment by maggie— March 12, 2010 #
Karina!
I’m so glad to see you’re back, you know the blogworld missed you so much!
I love the style of your blog. The way you turn it into a story. The way we can feel like we are reading something fantastical and fictional when, in reality, it is reality! We all go through the same things and I’m so glad you’ve opened up to share again because you know, we are all right behind you! So you hit a bump, a gray patch if you will. You need your health on track, then the other factors will fall into place. Without health, you have no foundation to build on. You’re still working and you have gotten so far! We can all relate to you and understand. So right with the doctors thing, I hate when ED sufferers are barred away from the rest of the people like sheep and told that we are seperate. Well let’s change that. Let’s educate people, show them we are just like them but we are going through something at the moment that we need to tackle. Let’s show them that we can be just like them, we can return to normality. I think it would really help if you read an article on loving your body that I read. I have it stuck up in my room and I read it every morning. http://ilikeitsowhat.blogspot.com/2010/03/inspired.html It’s the most inspiring thing I’ve ever found in the blogworld and it has saved me ever since I found it. I think it could do a lot of people a lot of good. Good luck and keep pushing forward because you are going through a tunnel but the light is there, it’s just in the distance.
Killian
Comment by Killian— March 12, 2010 #
No doubt this isn’t the end of the story – you DO have so much further to go, and it’ll be a fantastic, worthwhile journey. Keep on moving, growing, and staying strong!! <3
Comment by VeggieGirl— March 12, 2010 #
What an incredible story, Karina! You are beautiful–love the photo of you dancing. I think taking time off to take care of yourself is a fabulous idea!
<3 jess
xoxo
Comment by Jess— March 12, 2010 #
Oh Karina! I missed you so much! I’m glad you’re back…though maybe not at the price of you dropping classes…but it’s good that you’re taking time off to recuperate, and focus on your health first. There is nothing more important than health…without health, you can’t even function. So please take care…and blog more please!
Comment by sophia— March 14, 2010 #
Awwww honey!!!!
How I enjoyed your post!!
But…. It saddens me to read that you struggled!! And you had to give up your beloved class to have time for yourself again!!!
You know how much I LOVE you and your posts but I’d also love you to be happy…!! And healthy!! I really, really, really hope you will get very well, very soon!! I don’t like to see my loved ones feeling bad!! So take care love!! Tame yourself a little and continue to eat all those deliciouse meals!!! ;D
Comment by nic— March 14, 2010 #
Great post! Hang in there girl
Comment by Jenna— March 14, 2010 #
Karina! Hey beautiful!! I always forget how young you really are when I read about all of your accomplishments, that drive of yours….not to mention the way you speak and write is just soo polished, mature, fluid! You really are an amazing girl.
I hope to hear again from you soon, and please post more
That first oatmeal bowl looks killlller girl! As does the tofu stir fry! Yum, my fave.
Time to take care of yourself, once and for all!!!! Love you, XOXO
Comment by Jessica (jesslikesithot)— March 14, 2010 #
I’m so glad you’re back! I missed your posts. I’m so sorry you weren’t feeling well! and the doctors not bothering to look past anorexia, ugh. That reminds me of someone I know who was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a few years ago. He had a really bad flare up recently and had to have surgery, and when they did the surgery they found out that he doesn’t have ulcerative colitis, it is in fact Crohn’s disease.
I can completely understand your decision to drop your classes. I had to do the same when I first started recovery. Too much to handle!
You look so beautiful in that picture!
Comment by Stacey— March 15, 2010 #
You’re back!!! Dang them doctors and their assumptions. I hope you manage to resolve your unexplained health issues soon and that you’re at least feeling a little better right now.
Loving your positive attitude and I totally understand your reasons for dropping your classes for the moment. Health is deffo more important and once that’s sorted, you will be able to invest good time into your classes! Stay strong hun!
Nat
xoxo
Comment by nattietan— March 15, 2010 #
Finally, an update!
I’m sorry about you dropping your college courses, school can be so overwhelming, gah.
I’m glad you’re still eating well.
Stay postive!
-Bee
Comment by thereveille— March 17, 2010 #
Hi ! I must say I love your blog.
I live in the same neighborhood as your friend, Emma.
My brother and my mom has known the Harvards for a long while and
I just heard that Emma’s dad just passed away.
My mom and I have their family in our prayers.
Again, I love love love your blog, keep at it! Its inspiring to read.
Comment by anonymous— March 17, 2010 #
your blog is so beautfiul- you write so well & all your food pictures are amazing!! im sorry for hte struggle but i know you can get through it!
xoxox
shelley
http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com
Comment by Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)— March 22, 2010 #
I’m so sorry about having to give up your classes, especially the one you really loved! I’ve been following (+ drawing inspiration from) your blog for a while, so I’m pretty confident that when you’re ready recovery-wise, you will be able to show those classes who’s boss
Those carrots, by the way, are SO FREAKING ADORABLE! I’ve never seen anything like them!
Comment by Holly— April 18, 2010 #