karina pinzon « Like Some Cat from Japan

Uncomfortably Awkward

August 25, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments
Tags: bananapants, bulimia, california, eating disorder, ednos, fear, government, hotel, identity, inspiration, karina pinzon, las vegas, motoivation, names have been changed, new york new york, photos, protect, recovery, school anorexia, vacation

Uncomfortably awkward.

The English language does not house a more accurate marriage of words than those two to describe the- well, uncomfortably awkward conditions of my 3rd period class today.

In the grave quiet of Mr. Bananapants’s* 12th grade government period, my body was behaving like the four year old rascal it most definitely is not anymore. My nose ran like a cross country runner, my stomach grumbled at a thousand decibels, and my throat itched like a bad yeast infection…. and I had zero control over it.
*names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals mentioned

I mentally urged it to stop (as if THAT was going to work) but like the undisciplined child it was behaving as, my pleads seemed to be inaudible and of zilch importance to it. Thanks, body. Thanks.

On the airplane ride back from my vacation to Las Vegas and California (which was fabulous, by the way!), I must have contracted some sort of beastly disease because for the past week since I arrived home, I’ve been D.Y.I.N.G and guess what? Dying Young Is Not Good .

Not only can I hardly breathe, which is – like – one of my favorite activities, but I cannot even function without what seems like a martini glass full of Tylenol-Cold nor open my eyes to their full capacity! HOWEVER, due to my burning and oh-so-passionate desire to learn and sit in a classroom with other stinky high schoolers, I have returned to school with a positive attitude for yet another year of school work, ~~romance~~, and challenges of all calibers.

It may seem like I have this enviable breezy outlook about it all but the reality is- I’m scared shitless. I went from a school year of four periods a day, eating lunch in the comfort of my home, and exercising double-time (before I was banned from exercise, that is) to a school year of full-time hours, a packed lunch in a school environment, and zero exercise.We are talking a lifestyle change that seems like two planets light years apart to me.

Going back to school at all last year was a huge step for me but it was time to step things up and out of my comfort zone this time around. I’m really proud of myself because….

Here I am, Karina Pinzon, as a high school senior.

One year ago today, I’d tell you I didn’t think I’d make it to the 12th grade. After a full year of being on medical leave from school and being stuck in a negative mindset that lacked all faith, I was almost sure I would end up withdrawing yet again and remain an ungraduated junior forever. All I wanted to do one year ago today was dance and die dancing. The school environment was one that petrified me – or should I say my eating disorder? – because it meant stepping out of my little cage and doing something that ED had no power to control. School meant facing real issues and real thinking work, and lets face it… ED does not like us to think- at least not for ourselves.

But thanks to my recovery team, family and my own inner strength, I made it. I made sacrifices. I made decisions. I made sense of things. And because of that, I’m a high school senior now! My sophomore and junior years, which are littered with parcels of my Anorexia, are in the past now.

That is not to say my year is going to be free of challenges and clear of my eating disorder – I still struggle just like many of you readers – but I’m in control and I feel empowered to push myself. Just as I am going to school full-time like a normal young adult, I am going to continue making it my goal to think like a normal young adult as well.

I need to live life to the fullest and stop fearing paltry things like school lunches and limited eating times. I need to keep moving on and away. And I am SO ready!

Here’s to a great 2011-2012 school year

The Days of Chill

July 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments
Tags: addiction, anorexia, beauty, chill, crushes, drama, eating disorder, ED, exercise, first, fruit, help, in love, inspiration, karina pinzon, lemonade, like some cat from japan, mr right, pressure, recovery, relax, romance, runts, snow white, sour skittles, tricks, veg out, wonka, world of warcraft

The beginning of summer break sure made life easy.

The graduation parties seemed endless, the get-togethers fell one after the other, and the summer heat was not yet at its most sadistic. It appeared to be the perfect formula for the perfect summer and I was ready for it to stay that way for the next three months- three months of good friends, good drinks (like freshly squeezed lemonade, duh), and good times. August could not seem further away.

Now, call me crazy all you want, but the best part of it all was the drama I had going on at the time and when I say drama, I mean bona-fide honest-to-goodness drama.

Yes, readers. I just said that the best part of the beginning of my summer was the drama. No worries though, it was nothing pressing nor hugely momentous. It was just, you know, big. Unfamiliar. Different.

If I were to place myself back to the inception of summer vacation and look back six months earlier, I would have told the general public that there was zero drama in my life. Por que, you might ask? Porque my drama would have been a shameful little secret that I would not care to share.

I wish I had the ability to eloquently put into words how amazing it feels to go from worrying about the repugnant Mr. ED to worrying about the alluring Mr. Right but it is simply something indefinable. The feeling and the excitement that comes from actively witnessing this change in state of mindset is utterly sublime and is something you must experience for yourself. Don’t let me spoil the feeling for you.

Well. Let me spoil it for you just a little bit.

Allow me to take you on a ride back to the past, yes? Back to those delicious times before you ever even acquaintanced Mr. ED, before you even befriended insecurity, and before you ever stole a kiss from self-hatred. I want to take you back to those times when your purpose for waking up for school in the mornings was not to learn your times tables nor take notes over long division, but to see that special someone who made your knees go weak and made your stomach melt to mush. We all remember our first crushes. Don’t even try to utter the colossal lie that you’ve never once felt that fleeting flicker in your gut and that pounding beating in your heart over another earthling. Don’t even try. We have all felt it. We have all beared it.

And sure those crushes hurt when they were unrequited but it’s undebatable that all those crushes added some excitement, some vibrant color to our otherwise (possibly) monotonous lives.

I understand, however, if perhaps romance never took up a jumbo slice of your life. Perhaps your friends and family were number one, or maybe your grades were the larger drive behind your existence. Whatever it was, the truth of the matter is that all those things that pushed you, that gave your life its tang took a backseat when ED came into the picture. They all ceased to matter as much, and gradually waned and faded to a hollow blur.

AND I HATE THAT. I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE TO LOSE ITS TANG.

My life at the moment is still rather tangy. Its got a bit of zest, a bit of bite. Kind of like a Wonka Fruit Runt. But I liked it better when it was more like a….. Sour Skittle.

I’ve always been drawn to the Sour Skittle’s perfect matrimony between sweet and sour, the way they flawlessy intertwine to create an acidic gem of crunchy yet chewy perfection that scorches your tongue if you go a little overboard. I like that pinch of danger in my life but now that summer is halfway over, it seems to have dulled out a little.

At the beginning of summer, the fever of freedom was passionately burning. I had some hot summer flings and everyone wanted to hang out, party, and play hard but now… everyone wants to chill (that and my summer flings are not as hot anymore).

Don’t get me wrong, my chilling abilities have vastly improved since the peak of my illness but I am still far from being a virtuoso at chilling. I’m practically still a novice.

I detest that awful drive inside of me that pushes me to believe that I always have to be busy, that I always have to have plans, that I always have to stay productive, and that I always have to do something. What ever happened to the careless life I had in the days of yore where I could stay at home and play on the computer or watch TV all day if nothing “good” came up? What ever happened to “the days of chill?”

I very animatedly spoke to my psychologist about this subject yesterday and how annoyed I am about the death of my ability to veg out and hang loose (ha. ha.). I expressed to him that I feel very pressured and almost even triggered now that I’m stuck in this span that lacks constant plans and where I don’t have the safety and comfort of a set schedule such as the one I had when I was in school/party mode. I discovered something big yesterday in my session with my therapist: I use a busy calendar as a diversion from my Eating Disorder. The hustle and bustle of activity is my crutch.

Well, eff you.

Guess what I am doing today? Chilling, because I have been given a homework assignment to do just that.

Meet my cousin Sebastian. This is half of his face.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It is critical to recovery, whether you are weight recovered or not, to do the opposite of what your disorder instructs you to do. Challenging yourself is crucial no matter what stage of recovery you are in. I may be doing very well but if I want to continue to do well and improve, I need to continue challenging myself and never stop, even when I feel ED is gone and far away. I can’t write myself off as recovered and give up everything I have learned. Ever. So here I am, completing my homework assignment.

So what is my day going to look like? I’m seeing lots of movies, ice cream and World of Warcraft sessions in my immediate future today and I know ED is going to try to make me feel guilty about it at some point BUT…. I’m going to take my psychologist’s advice and block him out, throwing a few “shut ups” and “eff yous” his way. His complaints just don’t belong in my life. I don’t have to do something every. single. damn. day. Even if ED says so.

So ciao, my friends! I’m off to go chill and I highly suggest you stay in and do the same. I know I’m not alone in this struggle

Remember me?

July 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 18 Comments
Tags: anorexia, baby, barbie doll, calories, eating disorder, ED, experiences, food, free, head, help, karina pinzon, kill bill, life, like some cat from japan, placenta, quentin, recovery, tarantino

Hi. My name is Karina Pinzon. I’m not sure if any of you remember me, or care to remember me, or want to remember me, or plan to engage in any type of remembrance of me but here I am. In the flesh. Sort of.

As some of you may or may not know, I was once one of these:

http://www.antiquepals.com/mediac/400_0/media/8e567c0b8f255d63ffff932affffffdb.JPG

No. I was not literally a Barbie doll, that would be bizarre, but similar to the famous Barbie doll, I was once an empty shell controlled by greater forces surrounding me. If my master pushed my arm above my head, my arm would stretch above my head and remain there until he pushed it down. If my master rolled my head to face the ground, my eyes would point directly down, never looking up… unless I was instructed to.

In those times, I had no idea nor conception of what freedom of choice was anymore. Could I even be referred to as a human? Hardly so.

Don’t humans have the right to walk where they want, talk to who they want, place their arms where they want, and turn their heads where they want? Isn’t that what differentiates humans from inanimate objects? Our free-will? Our autonomy?

Isn’t that also what makes life so wonderful? The right to do whatever we want, in moderation, is what gives life its purpose! We have the entitlement to plan what we want to do with our time: Do we want to waste it or make the most of it? Do we want to break the law or play fairly by the rules? Do we want eggs or bacon this morning? Both? It is our choice. Everyday there is a choice… or thousands.

And that’s the thing I’ve discovered since I’ve been away from this blog, Like Some Cat from Japan. I have choices. I have independence. I wasn’t born a plastic toy with nylon hair and mislaid genitals. I was born a screaming, bloody bundle of life, pulled from another human’s fluid saturated womb.

Perhaps that sounds crude but that’s reality. And I like reality.

I used to shy away from reality, fear it even. It was something I fled from for years. I lived so afraid of facing the real world and getting hurt that I looked for ways to distract myself from coming close to it. I went as far as stacking up a towering wall and barricading myself behind it but there was something about that wall that was distinct. It was invisible and disguised itself as a spell that cast itself onto me.

Rather than beat around the bush and sugar coat it, I will say it straight: I suffered from an Eating Disorder. I still have Eating Disorder, since it doesn’t just disappear with a snap of the fingers, but I can tell you this: I ain’t suffering anymore, baby. I’m living.

It wasn’t that difficult to pull myself out of the hole I was squirreled away in and reach a place where I was “functionable” and could trek alongside civilization. I could do that. I could merely exist. That was easy.

It was a hell of a lot more difficult, however, hauling myself out of existence and into experiencing. Now that was the big fat challenge. That was the big showdown. It was a showdown between me and ED and all his little friends.

It may not have been as stylized a battle as the one between The Bride and The Crazy 88’s but it was equally intense and far more raw, gritty, and bloody I tell you. I have no video proof but this battle was bad. It was u-g-l-y.

I made it through alive and well to tell the tale but honestly, I don’t want to talk about it that much. I don’t want to be the “Eating Disorder Girl.” That is in the past. I want to be Karina, who is someone I have not been in years. And Karina is not an “Eating Disorder Girl.”

I’m not saying I want to forget about my past, for it helped shape who I am today, but I simply want to leave it where it belongs: in the past. I do not want it to haunt my present and I especially do not want it to haunt my future. I just want to move on and be Karina, who by the way, I’ve never given enough credit to. The majority of my life I beat that girl down and spit on her dying carcass when truthfully, that is the last thing she deserved. Sure, she is flawed and vulnerable but that is what makes her so real. That is what makes her so beautiful. Yes. I just called myself beautiful. And that’s okay. It is okay to love yourself.

I feel so thankful to have been given a second chance at my life… a second chance to move on and start anew, to start a new life where food, calories, and meal planning do not rule nor waste my time and I’d like to take you readers along to show you what life is truly like… since I know that many of you are aware that you are not living. But for those of you who are living, celebrate with me! Lets live! Sure, it’ll hurt sometimes but it will also be pleasurable at other times. When? I do not know. But I do know that it is okay to hurt and it is okay to be scared about where our lives are going. It is how we handle these fears that determines whether we are happy or not. Life is spontaneous and unexpected. It is never predictable despite what people may say.

I’m glad to be back and I hope I still have people to share my experiences with. Lets do this.

Mean Girls

June 9, 2011 at 11:46 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
Tags: avenue d, bitches, cell phones, crazy, dirty dancing, donkey punch, eating disorders, erratic, grinding, invasion of privacy, karina pinzon, like some cat from japan, lindsay lohan, lunatic, mean girls, menstruation, operate, parties, peaches, pms, sluts, wild

A Little Bit Sexual

May 10, 2011 at 10:46 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments
Tags: abs, anorexia, body image, bodybuilding, female, funny, girls, karina pinzon, lip synch, lyrics, muscle, muscular, opportunities, overly, pet shop boys, recovered, recovery, risque, sexual, sexy, six pack, video, woman, workout

The Best Love Advice You’ll Ever Receive

May 4, 2011 at 8:03 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments
Tags: annoying, anorexia, brief texters, karina pinzon, not much, psycho killer, talking heads, texting, vlog

Stop Running Into Me!

April 21, 2011 at 8:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments
Tags: amenorrhea, anorexia recovery, corey hart, eating disorders, funny, health, inspiration, karina pinzon, lip synch, menstruation, period, sunglasses at night, videos, vlog, youtube

Hi guys! I’m going to be vlogging for a while from now on- not just about Eating Disorders but about every topic under the sun. I will be posting links to my videos on here for anyone who wants to watch them and see how I’m doing.

I feel better than ever and also FINALLY got my special gift from mother nature if you know what I’m saying

Some of you may have already seen this video when I posted it on Facebook or on my Formspring (which is temporarily disabled) but I just wanted to post it for those who have not seen it!

Love you all, please continue moving forward. Getting better IS possible. Recovery is a REAL possibility. Freedom is worth working for.

Meet Anorexia:

April 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments
Tags: anorexia, dumb, eating disorder, inspiration, karina pinzon, like some cat from japan, recovery, rock n roll, stupid, video

An Update on My Recovery….

March 31, 2011 at 7:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
Tags: anorexia, blog, formspring, inspiration, karina pinzon, like some cat from japan, recovery

Hi everyone! I apologize for my absence both on my blog and on my formspring.
I made a video explaining everything and more (which I posted below), and I hope you all can forgive me for going away without any notice. I care about you all a lot and have not forgotten about my readers! I could never.

Please excuse my prattling as I do tend to ramble

I love you all, please stay strong and never stop fighting. I may return to my Formspring slowly but I have been hesitant to start up again as I have 656 unanswered questions in my inbox as I write this… As much as I LOVE being included and thought about, the group questions that I have been receiving are partially responsible for the backlog. I would really like to continue answering questions but it is just too difficult to keep up when I start receiving 13 questions at once from ONE person… and they aren’t even questions aimed towards ME. They just feel kind of impersonal so please, if you could hold off on including me in group questions, I would really appreciate it I hope you all understand!

Take care, my loves.

A Diary Entry’s End

February 27, 2011 at 8:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 16 Comments
Tags: anorexia, banana, ben & jerry's, boost plus, brie, california pizza kitchen, calories, carrot cake oatmeal, challenge, cherry garcia, chili's, chocolate, depression, ensure plus, february, fried cheese, galaxy granola, gluten free, granola, grilled cheese, inspiration, jason's deli, karina pinzon, la madeleine, like some cat from japan, parfait, plan, recovery, roasted artichoke pizza, sandwich, tofurky, weight gain

Today I’d like to share with you guys an excerpt from an entry I wrote in my personal journal. Sometimes I feel like I have a hard time sharing my struggles with people and keeping everything bottled up inside is killing me… I needed to get this off of my chest:

“Sometimes I feel like my entire persona is a front and nobody ever sees the real me unless I am writing or showing my grief through my body’s appearance. I’m always either super upbeat and bubbly or as quiet and vulnerable as a pet turtle. Not to say that I’m not a bubbly person and not to say that I’m not a vulnerable person, but I feel like these only two “sides” that I show the public are keeping me from revealing my true self and that is hurting me.

I guess I WANT people to see how much I hurt. I WANT people to understand the turmoil I feel on a daily basis, but I do not know how to express it. I’m tired of putting on a happy face for others and keeping all this pain lodged inside of me like a wad of thick thorns because doing this is eating away at every last bit of me.

For the longest time, the only way I knew how to express my misery to others was by showing them my interpretation of “misery”… and in my mind, “misery” looked like a withered corpse. In my disordered mind, by slowly disappearing, I thought I was effectively demonstrating people how my pain was feasting on me and in my disordered mind, that explained exactly why I was growing smaller and smaller like a morsel of food on a supper plate.

As macabre as it sounds, that is how my mind worked… and unfortunately, still does.

I have no idea how to share with others how I feel in a constructive manner. The closest I can get to exposing to others my inner feelings at this point (other than by writing) is by throwing fits and tantrums such as the one I threw the other night in the privacy of my own home. Sure, at least I have writing to express myself but I can’t keep a typewriter or word document by my side at all times, now can I?

No one would ever imagine that the effervescent and collected girl they see in public often throws herself on her bed, red faced and screaming with mascara streaming down her cheeks, crying “I hate my life! I hate everything! I hate being me!” at the top of her lungs. Despite getting my feelings out in a very direct manner this way, there is absolutely nothing healthy about these outbursts of mine

What makes me the most sad about all this, however, is not my own situation, but the fact that I know there must be so many others struggling like this behind closed doors. Who knows how many other people are suffering in agony behind their projected smiles? Who’s to say their smiles aren’t fake, such as my own?

Throughout my recovery, I want to learn how to let go and show the world my true colors. If I’m feeling sad, I’ll show it. I’ll show it to others and feel no shame. If I’m feeling happy, I will show those bright colors too and it will mean so much more because my smiles will be real and only appear when they are felt from within. How much does a genuine smile light up a room?

A lot.

I want to light up a room someday.”

-February 2011

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Despite using my blog as a sort of personal journal, I have used a separate journal throughout my journey to further vent all of the emotions recovery puts me through. That was one of my latest entries. Every day (yes, even the “good” days) is a battle between my ED and I. Every day is a challenge to disobey him and every day is an arduous struggle between what I want and what ED wants. Every day, I am faced with choices.

“My grandmother always used to tell me as a child that two paths existed in the afterlife: the path to heaven and the path to hell. The path to hell was bejeweled with flowers and people frolicking through paddocks whilst they laughed and smoked. The path to heaven was scattered with barbwire and thorns that’d prick one’s feet.

We could easily give up and take ED’s hand; follow him right down the bright, blossomed road to hell just because it’d be far less demanding on him. Far more “comfortable.”

But where does this simple path ultimately lead? Hell.

It is much more worth it to prick one’s feet and wipe the blood off our bruises when the reward in the end is heaven, happiness, and freedom. Not some fiery pit of torment and death.”
-Heaven? or Hell?

We are forced to make a choice between taking the easy way out (where ED will be comfortable and secure), or taking the strenuous and emotional journey out (where ED will inevitably suffer). As warriors in recovery, we have already chosen the latter and have come to terms with the inescapable thorns that will prick our feet and the blood that will pour from our battle wounds. It is all a part of the process… the process that leads to our freedom.

Today my battle is simple in essence yet difficult to accomplish: I must get back on track and make my meal plan. You guys, I am not perfect. I slip up too… and I slipped up this weekend.

In addition to my daily calorie goal, I must drink an Ensure or Boost Plus every day. My nutritionist left me room to be flexible, however, and told me that like normal people, I am allowed to treat myself to extra special meals and replace my daily supplement with 360 calories elsewhere on the days I choose. This means that I have the freedom on certain days to not have my Ensure/Boost IF I make up for it with a special meal or treat. I had planned on Saturday being one of those days because I was going to challenge myself to a milkshake or Blizzard from Dairy Queen…. but it ended up not working out. (Shockers: life is unpredictable! ED is evil!)

I felt very guilty about not making my meal plan and wanted to rip my hair out for not being perfect but then I realized something. Even though it wasn’t a 100% “successful” day, I excelled in other areas that day so I must give myself props for that and not beat myself up (I just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again). Even though the Dairy Queen challenge did not happen, another very monumental challenge did: I challenged myself to one of my former favorite foods: cheese sticks at Chili’s! Read fried mozzarella cheese sticks!

They were so so good. Biting into their crispy flesh and seeping into their gooey innards felt so damn delicious and I should congratulate myself for finding the strength to make this challenge happen. Karina wanted to reunite with them so badly and you know what? I have bragging rights… Anytime we challenge ourselves, we have the right to brag! No shame! It is so amazing when we do something that severs a tie between ourselves and ED.

And even though Saturday was not 100% recovery perfection (as if that even exists!), today is a fresh new day and do you know how I started it off? With a nice, cold bottle of Boost Plus.

I made the choice this morning to go down the arduous, prickly path to freedom and let go of ED’s grip. Good choice.

Good day.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Anyway, recovering from an Eating Disorder requires eating… DURRR! So here are some of my best eats:

Wednesday, February 23: Toasted sandwich on German rye bread stuffed with hickory smoked Tofurky, dried cranberries, mayonnaise, tomato slices, spinach, and goat cheese. A side of vegetable soup and mixed berries with whipped cream (not pictured) on the side.

That Wednesday evening, my family and I ate at California Pizza Kitchen where I shared the Roasted Artichoke pizza and the Field Greens salad (with dressing and everything!) with my mom. This was such a delicious meal! CPK takes the cake as the best pizza ever in my heart.

Thursday, February 24: Breakfast was Fromage Blanc topped with vanilla almond granola, Nutlettes, almond butter, and a large sliced banana.

For lunch, I went to Jason’s Deli. Guess what I had? An old favorite: RESTAURANT GRILLED CHEESE! From ages 3-14, my favorite meal at every restaurant was a grilled cheese sandwich. I STILL love grilled cheese sandwiches and can say that they are in my top 5 favorite foods. Sure, I make them at home quite often but this was my first restaurant grilled cheese in ages. It brought back so many memories…I had the grilled cheese sandwich with a side of ruffled potato chips and steamed vegetables. A totally balanced and nourishing meal <3

After dinner that night, I finally had the container of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream that had been sitting in my freezer for over a month. ED had been cowering in fear of it but I finally sent him to hell and devoured it! It was so delicious!

Friday, February 25: I was in the mood for an old favorite…. carrot cake oats! I cooked my oats in vanilla almond milk, 1/2 a whipped banana, cinnamon, maple syrup, and 1/2 serving of vanilla protein powder. Then I added crystallized ginger, shredded baby carrots, almond butter, and a dollop of cream cheese.

For lunch, my family and I ate at La Madeleine.I started off with vegetable soup… ordered a spinach, tomato, and mushroom omelette, and had a fruit & yogurt muesli parfait for dessert!This meal was delicious but made me feel very anxious and I had a small panic attack afterward :/. I felt so guilty after eating this because I felt extremely full. ED just does not want to come to accept fullness yet. Every time I am full beyond my comfort level, he beats me up and makes me feel horrible about it. I was almost crying because of how awful I felt… not only physically but also mentally. I know that what I am doing is saving my life, however, and I am keeping my eyes on the prize of freedom. This discomfort will be worth it in the end. It truly will be.

That night, along with my black bean veggie burger and broccoli/ketchup, I shared the order of fried cheese at Chili’s with my mother!Everyone was in a really good mood and I felt no guilt whatsoever. In fact, although the cheese sticks were delicious, they could have been a little greasier . They just weren’t juicy enough for KARINA’s taste!
It is ridiculous how ED can make us feel guilty about something like fruit, eggs, and a yogurt parfait and then not even come to bother us when we eat something like cheese sticks. He is so irrational and flaky…. I’m glad he didn’t come to ruin this meal for me though!